this made me giggle! I mean, it's a terrible story for the groundhog, but it's funny how life happens sporatically and you have absolutely NO control over your life, no matter how hard you try!
That excerpt was taken from website, FMYLIFE,a hilarous website where people post their "FML's" (which stands for Fuck My Life haha), explaining the things that happen in their everyday lives that are just so annoying and disheartening! Makes for hours of entertaining reading! So what's your FML?
My most recent one is pretty minor compared to the ones on the official website... but; Was coming to the end of finishing all my projects for course. All I had to do was print them out, and then hand them in on Monday. I opened up the files of my digital project and it hadn't saved any of my work. FML.
Makes me realised how un-entertaining my life really is right now...haha
This morning before class i had to rush around to my friend, Mali's house to take a couple photos of her for my 2D project which is about being yourself, and how everyone has the right to live in a world where you can express yourself outwardly by your appearance and not be subjected to judgement or prejudice.
So anyway, i was running a little late to get to her house, it was 8.30am and i had to be at hers by 8.50am and be able to leave at 9am so i wasn't tooooo late for my web class at 9am...:P
I do realise i was pushing it, don't worry.
So i did end up getting to her house at my desired time of 8.50am! I walked swiftly up her driveway and rapped on her door 4 times...and waiiiiittttteeedddd....and waited..and after what seemed like a hundred years because i was in such a rush, she opened the door and welcomed me in!
I said to her that i needed to be at my class so could we pleeeassse take the photo ASAP outside in the daylight, and by the side of the house, and all these other specifics i needed to get the photo i wanted for my project!
So we went outside and she stood against the side of the house, i turned my camera on and set the focus. I noticed that my camera was making a unusual humming sound and it felt like it was vibrating under my fingertips.
I thought that this was weird but i was in a hurry so i chose to ignore it.
I took the first snap, but wasn't happy with it because she wasn't looking! far out! this is going to take all day at this rate!
That's when the vibrating and humming got worse...and my camera started to feel a little warm. No, not warm...but hot...hotter...almost too hot to touch!
I looked up and Mali was giving me weird looks as i played "hot potato" with my digital camera...
I couldn't think of anything else to do but throw it as far away from me as possible...the humming and vibrating was getting so strong I could tell that it wasn't safe to have it anywhere near my body.
As it flew through the air, the camera EXPLODED. It was so loud i think the other side of chch would've heard it!
But amongst the flames in mid air, came the loudest humming sound of all...actually, i realised, it wasn't humming, it was BUZZING. Buzzing with a giant mutant killer hornet sound!
It had burst out of my camera and was flying straight towards me and Mali with it's stinger pointing right at us!!
Everything slowed down to slow motion speed and as me and Mali slowly turned out heads to face each other, i could tell we both had the same instinct of what to do. We were going to have to fight to the death.
The wasp collided into us at regained full time speed, it knocked us off our feet and as it flew away and made a turn around for it's second shot, a person came running off the street shouting that he knew what to do and to follow his lead. We got to our feet and got in the same crouching position as the new comer.
The wasp flew towards us and the man launched himself at it, and myself and mali followed suit..we knocked the wasp down to the ground! Yus! we were in the game!
then we heard a big RRRRIIPP and i turned to look at our helper...he'd just taken a big bite out of the wasp!!
"bite it with me!" he yelled, "we have to insert our human venom, to slowly kill it!"
Up until this point in my life, i was never aware that human's had venom, let alone venom that was powerful enough to slowly kill giant killer wasps...you learn something new everyday!
Here is some actual video footage of the fight between us and the giant wasp, filmed by superman who was flying overhead at the right time to catch it all on his camera.
(he didn't help us out because he's allergic to hornet stings)
ps, it's only called ANTS vs hornet because we looked like ants compared to the hornet...because it was giant...and killer...
Thanks Superman!
So as you can see our human venom had started working on the giant wasp already as it slowly dragged itself away from the scene. The random guy informed us that it would die within 15 minutes, and we should stick around until that time because when it's dead we can use it's eyes as telescopes to see the universe so that was pretty cool.
So anyway that was why i was late to class today, i didn't want to explain it out loud in class because i don't think people would've believed me without being able to show the footage.
Today at tech we started our Web Design class, which started off like any other first class of this half of the semester... We were introduced to our new tutor, John Maillard, and he began teaching us about the in's and out's of web design...the class was silent and staunch with concentration, when there was a swift knock on the classroom door. Everyone's heads moved to the direction of the disturbance and the door opened a creak, in walked in 2 police men, with stern looks on their faces. John had a look of knowing on his face, and he gave a movement of acknowledgement and permission to the policemen to do what they were here to do.
The slightly taller policeman took several steps towards me, and I flinched as i realised he was looking directly at me with vicious eyes. Without even leaving me a second to realise what happened, the policeman grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me to the ground, while the second policeman ran over to help with the struggle. I yelled out "THIS ISN'T THE END! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE END OF ME" and as the last word escaped my lips, Chuck Norris flew threw the window from the base of a helicopter that sped off into the distance. He landed with a loud thud, and whipped out a bazooka and a hand gun, aimed directly at the policemen on top of me. "Let's get out of here, kid" he said with authority..(by now the whole class was frozen rigid by the scene, a couple had passed out, and the policemen were so confused by the new entrant that they had loosened their hold on me quite significantly.)
He took out both of the policemen with one punch (fuck, he's the man), and we both got onto his harley davidson and sped out of the class, not really knowing where we were going.
Four hours later we wound up in a desert, and found a nice cave to hide out in for a while. Chuck got off the bike first and did a victory dance, much like the safety dance of homer simpson..
3 months later, i was returned home safely, and never hunted down by the police again, for their morbid fear of being at Chuck Norris' mercy was too strong. I got off pretty lightly, the only thing changed about was my bionic arm which had to be fitted by the pigmy desert tribe who found us in hiding, after i was bitten by a rabid desert mouse.
